Introduction

When it comes to stress, the key question to ask is whether you are experiencing it during the event or after it. This distinction completely alters our coping strategies and decision of whether to deal with the stress or embrace it.

The first 2 weeks went fine.

One Tuesday afternoon, around 3 p.m. in February, my employer called me and said, “The contract office representative (COR) has asked some team members to stop charging against the contract.” Remote work had become the norm, with hiring done over computer interviews and firing conducted over phone calls. I asked, “Is today my last day?” He replied, “Yes.” It took me some time to process this two-hour layoff announcement.

Immediately after the layoff, I informed my family and kids about the job situation and requested their help to stay focused on studying for the next job. For the first two weeks, I accepted the reality and wrote on a whiteboard every day to keep track of the days since I lost my job. Once the number entered double digits, however, unease started kicking in. From the 15th day onward, desperation to find the next job took precedence.

Money cushion.

As desperation set in, I began paying closer attention to the upcoming needs of my family. The first thing I looked at was how much money we had left to pay the mortgage and other bills. It was comforting to see that I had some funds saved for emergencies, thanks to Dave Ramsey and his teachings.

My daughter brought home a flyer from school about a “Boosterthon,” which is a fundraiser for school needs. She didn’t show us the flyer, but my son did and asked us to donate money. That night, the long discussion between my 10-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son about the money completely changed my perspective. It was a difficult situation to comfort both of them.

Did not thought about the mental state I have to go through.

Despite having extensive work experience, financial security, and a strong support system of family, friends, coaches, and contacts, I never considered the mental state I would go through after losing my job. This unique state of mind greatly affects one’s sense of freedom, which I had never considered before. I used to think that as long as we had financial security, we could handle anything. However, there is a state of mind that goes beyond money. It is a combination of embarrassment, lack of freedom, guilt, and self-doubt.

This state of mind is unique, and only those who have experienced it can relate to it. After going through this state, I can say that it has strengthened me and helped me realize my own gifts.

I used to wake up in the middle of the night worrying about how I would support my family the next month, and then I would feel sorry for myself. One night, I thought of a friend who had chosen a different career path by leaving IT. We are the same age and had similar journeys, but he chose to leave his job while I was laid off.

Doing Shambhavi or meditation helped to stay positive.

If there’s one thing that has helped me change my state of mind on a daily basis, it’s Sadhguru’s Inner Engineering Practices. It’s almost as if the universe knew what I would be going through in the near future – I happened to volunteer at an Inner Engineering event in Fairfax, Virginia where the teacher was so good she helped me overcome all my blocks. As part of building my consistency muscle, I decided to do the practice daily for 40 days (1 mandala) a couple of weeks before I received the news of my layoff. We continued the process which tremendously helped us stay healthy and focused.

My partner and I learned the Shambhavi Mahamudra from Sadhguru in Pennsylvania. The effect of meditation was like day and night. Before meditation, all the demons in my mind used to have a party, but once the meditation session was completed, I was ready to do what I had planned.

Addictions to coffee & sugar.

After this experience, I learned how coffee and sugar can become my best friends during times of stress. Although this was just a small-scale job search story for my family, one can only imagine how many lives can be impacted by companies facing similar situations.

I started skipping gym sessions, which I used to attend at least four days a week. Of course, the aftermath of skipping workouts for a prolonged period of time was not favorable. Naturally, my cravings for carbs, coffee, and sugar spiked. My wife usually doesn’t like sweet products, but even she joined the sweet tooth party after this event.

Coffee and sugar, combined with stress, is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more coffee I consumed, the more my cravings kicked in, which resulted in more stress. While sugar became a savior in the moment of crisis, it ultimately turned out to be the villain in the long run.

Restarted my writing habit.

Good things often happen amidst the struggles of life, but we often choose to discount or ignore them. While going through a job search, I wrote morning pages with pen and paper to clear my mind. One day, I asked myself, “Why don’t I extend my writing online in my blog?” And that’s how I restarted my writing journey.

Became an artist with doodling.

In addition to meditation and positive psychology, I discovered a simple doodling book at home that I use for casual drawing practice. Over time, I found that drawing is an excellent way to relieve stress. I believe that art is one of the best ways to break free from stress.

A short story on how to deal with stress.

Samantha was an overachiever, excelling in her studies, athletics, and even holding a part-time job. However, her busy schedule eventually caught up to her as she started experiencing panic attacks and anxiety. To manage her stress, Samantha made changes in her life by prioritizing tasks, saying no to additional responsibilities, and practicing meditation and yoga. Despite the initial challenges, she began to feel more focused, energized, and less anxious.

On a day when Samantha had an important presentation at work, she felt a wave of panic wash over her. However, she managed to calm herself down by reminding herself of her hard work. She then delivered a confident, articulate presentation that impressed her colleagues. Afterward, Samantha felt relieved and proud.

Samantha learned that managing stress is not about eliminating it altogether, but rather learning how to handle it in a healthy way. She continued her routine of self-care and mindfulness, feeling better equipped to handle whatever challenges came her way.

Conclusion.

To manage stress, ask yourself: “Am I experiencing stress in the middle of an event or after the event?” The answer to this question will completely change your coping strategies. You must decide whether to deal with the stress or embrace it.